who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
