i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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