On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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