Pants 0. Shit 1.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize