I bet he comes in French.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
