at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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