you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
