i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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