we have officially lost it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
