lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
50% drunk capacity currently
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
