Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
