No stitches, just platelets and will power
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
