Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
