All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
