You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
