Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
