And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
