***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
