i can't believe i had my finger in that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
