is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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