I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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