5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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