im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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