He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
