My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize
