what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
