I think my vagina is haunted
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
