how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
