It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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