I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
