Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
