please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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