we have pet lesbian snakes
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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