I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
