I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
