Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
