Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
