i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
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THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We don't watch enough power rangers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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