I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
