Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
