your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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