He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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