Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
