Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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