I'm gonna have a badass scar
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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