so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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