I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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