I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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