VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
