I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
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i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just gift wrapped bread.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's the barista slut.
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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