I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
