Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
