The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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