You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
