got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
