My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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