How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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