My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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