oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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