imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
