they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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