I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
