did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
